Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Reading The Riot, Act I

It has not escaped the notice of the Retro Punk Central Committee that posts have reached a height off which they have trailed, like streamers or strained metaphors. Perhaps Alhambra is not living up to its Xanadu-esque billing? But surely the blog could be worse. How, you ask? Herewith, examples of how it could be worse. Much worse:

Mungowitz End: Sed Victa Catoni.
Sed Victa Catoni. Roughly, "Smug Casserole."

You'll need:
various computer components, a guinness, a french coffee press, the sacrifice of your dignity.

Can a blog be worse than an overheard cellphone conversation? So glad you asked. A woman's reflections on God, divorce, and her weight; Mo describes herself as "fairly empty and waiting to be filled."

Was that self-flagellating fun? If so, check out Ter's blog, who had a "special relationship" with Mo (see the comments for the posts - precious). It also includes the ultimate way to break up with a born-again chick: In order to deepen my relationship with God, I need to go on a fast - from you!

Finally! The great taste of worcestershire - in a peripheral! The George Foreman USB iGrill provides a sophisticated web-based cooking interface. And since it runs directly off your computer's USB port, it can cover your monitor in a slippery layer of beef grease. Ah... Steakie!

The author is dead? I hope so. I hope fucking so. G.A.R.L.I.C. S.A.L.T. ~ Gents And Real Ladies In Cahoots with Short And Long Tales. Don't you see it's an anagram? Don't you?

By the way - Matt's "Let America" & my "Not the America" posts were used as the inspiration for an interesting Mark Liberman post on "snowclones". (proof here.) Hey! He used them without acknowledgment! Matt, is this what Hollywood feels like?

Help the blog. The blog would help you.


Blogger naptime said...

other than matt's mom, i think the main reason that different posts seem to reach fever pitch and then trail off is that the layout of the blog itself doesn't make sense-- any other forum (i'm thinking primarily here of penthouse) places the most recently commented post at the top of the list. the blog lists the posts in chronological order since inception, which makes things a bit harder, since you presumably don't want to scroll back through videos of pseudo-jad drinking his own vomit from a cup. maybe lunchtime's idea of only posting new comments is the way forward.

on a separate note, the shrill plight of a woman scared stiff by --gasp-- middle easterners on her plane seems to be gathering a lot of press nowadays. apparently there was a syrian band on her plane headed to vegas, and the lady freaked. i love how she refuses to back away from her pre-assumed verdict of guilt with the rhetorical question 'could terrorists learn to play musical interests?' well sure, i guess they could. maybe we should start keeping track of hammered dulcimer sales throughout the US.

July 27, 2004 at 12:04 PM  
Blogger Nick O'Rette said...

As if polka isn't already terrorism.

August 16, 2004 at 1:48 PM  

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